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I can't keep doing this alone

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

Quick answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

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If you are reading this at 2 a.m., that is information. Caregiver exhaustion is not a character flaw, and there is more free support in most metros than families ever find.

Short answer

Respite, adult day care, and the free local support most families never hear about.

What to do, in order

  1. Take the exhaustion seriously as a clinical fact. Caregiver strain predicts poor outcomes for both people.
  2. Use respite before you are desperate. New York's CareScout adult day health care median is $144/day ($3,120/month); the NHTD waiver and Managed Long Term Care can help cover it for Medicaid-eligible seniors.
  3. Take the free support that exists here. Nassau County Office for the Aging (516-227-8900) and Suffolk County Office for the Aging (631-853-8200) both run caregiver support programs at no cost.
  4. Get a second opinion on the plan. Your county's Area Agency on Aging will review options at no cost.
  5. Name the thing you are avoiding. Most caregivers know what the next step is months before they take it.

Questions families ask

What kinds of problems should I bring to the Ombudsman versus reporting to Adult Protective Services?

The Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program handles advocacy and complaint resolution for residents already living in a licensed facility, such as a nursing home, assisted living residence, adult home, or family-type home, addressing issues like care quality concerns, rights violations, or disputes with facility staff. Adult Protective Services (APS), by contrast, investigates suspected abuse, neglect, or exploitation of impaired adults living in the community, including those who depend on others for basic needs, and is administered through the county Department of Social Services rather than the Office for the Aging.

Is the Long-Term Care Ombudsman program free, and does it cost anything to file a complaint?

Yes. The Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program is a free, independent advocacy service - there is no cost to contact Suffolk's coordinator (631-470-6755), Nassau's coordinator (516-466-9718), or the statewide hotline (1-855-582-6769). The program is publicly funded and administratively housed within the NY State Office for the Aging specifically so it can operate independently of the facilities it may be investigating.

How do I report suspected elder abuse or neglect in Nassau County?

Contact Nassau County Adult Protective Services at 516-227-8395, housed within the Nassau County Department of Social Services' Office of Adult Services at 60 Charles Lindbergh Boulevard, Uniondale. For after-hours emergencies, Nassau County DSS operates a separate after-hours line at 516-573-8626.

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